I forgive people, but that doesn’t mean I condone their behavior, nor does it mean they automatically earn a place back in my life. For me, forgiveness isn’t about giving someone a free pass or pretending what they did didn’t hurt. It’s about freeing myself from the emotional weight of resentment, anger, and pain.
For a long time, I confused forgiveness with reconciliation. I thought that if I forgave someone, I had to welcome them back, drop my boundaries, or keep them in my life no matter the cost. But I’ve learned that forgiveness and trust are two very different things.
Forgiveness Is for My Peace
When someone hurts me, the pain doesn’t just stay in that moment. It can linger in my thoughts, my reactions, even my body. Bitterness can build up, and before I know it, I’m stuck replaying old wounds over and over. That’s why I forgive — not because they deserve it, but because I do. I deserve peace. I deserve to move forward.
Letting go of the pain doesn’t mean I have to let go of the lessons. Forgiveness is for me. It helps me let go of the emotional baggage so I can focus on the life I want, not the pain someone else caused.
Trust Must Be Earned
Just because I’ve forgiven someone doesn’t mean I automatically trust them again. Trust is built through consistent, respectful actions over time. If someone has broken that trust, they have to show they’re willing to repair it. And sometimes, even if I’ve forgiven them, I still choose not to allow them back into my life. That’s not me being bitter — it’s me setting boundaries.
Forgiveness does not require access. I can wish someone well from a distance. I can release the anger without rekindling the relationship. That distinction has given me so much clarity and strength.
Moving On Doesn’t Mean Forgetting
Some people think that moving on means forgetting what happened. But I don’t forget — I remember, and I grow from it. I use those memories to protect my peace, establish boundaries, and make better decisions moving forward.
Forgiveness allows me to move on without dragging old pain behind me. It lets me live in the present instead of being held hostage by the past.
Final Thoughts
I forgive people for my own healing. That doesn’t mean I accept their behavior, excuse it, or invite them back into my life. It simply means I’m choosing to release the hold their actions have over me. It’s an act of self-care, of freedom, and I do it for me.
